"I felt the weight of him in my arms as I held him to me. I can feel that weight still. I think I will always remember the weight of him in my arms - a physical memory"

Becci

Faye Emily's little hand

Darling Faye

Dear darling Faye
You would have been exactly 3 months old today, but I can only imagine hearing the sound of your cry, your laughter, your cooing and gurgling. God how I miss you. The world around seems to be such a tortuous one: with families, babies, happy smiling faces everywhere and I have nothing. I yearn to hold you, to rock you, to cuddle you and to sniff you and touch your velvet skin again. It feels like you were just a figment of our imaginations. Your time with us, so short and not enough. To have carried you and nurtured you for eight and a half months… I feel I knew you and you knew me and we grew together. Now all I have left is a scar and an emptiness that cuts to the core of my being.